That smug beard guy selling Chevys

Jesus H. Christ. I swear, every so often, some TeeVee pitchman comes along who is so fucking annoying, that I want to fucking throw a brick through the television.

Well, lately, it’s been that fucking smug-ass beard douche pitching fucking shit Chevy cars to “Real People – Not Actors.”

My fucking ass.

So help me god, I will never, ever, buy a Chevrolet based solely on this commercial series.

Premise: Smug Douche Beard Guy, who is clearly much more important, smart, and generally worldly gets a group of “Real People – Not Actors” in some situation resembling a panel discussion/round table to get their “real” thoughts on crappy shit Chevrolet cars.

More often than not, the “panelists” are complete bumbling idiots driveling over these cars, waxing hyperbolic about how epic the cars are. They really want one! This means it’s “real” and you should want one, too.

Fuck, at one point the fucker pretends to throw everyone’s cell phones into a wood chipper to prove some dumb-ass point.

And the beard douche soaks it all up. He’s smug. He’s a fucking asshole. He glows.

He kind of morphs according to who he’s trying to pull a fast one over. A bunch of dim construction guys (never any females in construction, BTW)? And he dresses down and kind of acts formanly. He’s one of the guys – but just that much better than them.

No. He’s a fucking asshole. Pretentious fuck.

I’m genuinely interested in the thought process behind this commercial series. Who, in their right mind, could actually think this could be a good thing? It must have passed some sort of sniff test. There must have been “Real People – Not Actors” who said, “This is some damn fine commercial work, folks. Green light it immediately. Run with it. Hell, this wonderful man will be the face of Chevrolet for all of eternity. We are blessed.”

I weep openly.

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