Fox Football Robot

Ok, 2016 NFL Football is upon us like a moist towelette.

I’m finally getting around to watching a game on Fox Sports, and lo! & behold! There’s that fucking dip-shit crap with the glowing eyes.

Fox Sports still has that dumb-ass robot football player thing that walks all over the screen. Trying to look all cool and shit.

Looks like a fucking pile of idiotic garbage.

What in the name of fuck is that shit? I’ve been watching it for years. What are we, 9? Is this supposed to be “cool?” This is shit that you put on fucking onesies for fucking babies. Goddam.

It’s fucking immature and stupid. Jesus fucking Christ, get rid of that shit already, people and grow the fuck up.

Carfax fox dude.

Is it me, or am I the only one vaguely creeped out by the Carfax fox dude.

I’ve seen him cajole innocent car buyers into using invisible car-choosing doohickeys floating in thin air, and that’s not it.

I think it’s the outfit. Oddly tight khakis and a tight white shirt.

It’s a fox.

Maybe that’s it.

Dunno, he’s still a creepy little dude.

Nice Touch.

Am I getting some kind of soft spot? I just saw another commercial that I was actually entertained by. It’s probably not that funny, but to hell with it – I laughed.

Febreze does the “this is what your guests smell” gags, and the latest I just saw takes place in a family’s kitchen where apparently the garbage can is reeking to high heaven.

“This is what they smell” and up pops a giant fucking dumpster. Which I thought was comical enough. The kicker was the orange tabby that jumped up on the lid. I haven’t the faintest idea why I was hysterical, but that shit was funny.

An orange fucking tabby!

Of course, there are missed opportunities in the seedy loins of commercial land, as well.

The Buick commercial where the couple is on some remote beach in a cabana all oiled and half-naked and not afraid. Wife asks husband if he locked the car. Switch to (what I suppose is the) airport parking lot where from fucking Timbuktu or wherever they are he remotely locks the Buick via some fancy Buick app on his phone.

Of course, the car’s been unlocked for three days and some fucking crackhead has started squatting in the damn thing.

Wife then asks “you closed the windows at home, right?” “Of course, honey”

Pause for effect.

Husband’s eyes pop open and the scene switches to apartment with open window and a shit-ton of pigeons flying into apartment through open window. A veritable Hitchcockian scene.

I always thought a nice touch would be the apartment covered (and I mean COVERED) in bird shit. Yeah, lets not take away some imagination, but fuck it, go whole hog, dammit. Fuck shit up.