Xmas? WTF?

It’s fucking October Duracell.

Fuck you.

No, seriously.

A fucking Christmas commercial? On fucking Sunday, October 23, 2016?

Are you fucking high? I don’t care if there’s some fucking charity thinly veiled in the goddam thing. Fuck the fucking fuck off.

Fuck this shit.

Make Xmas 365 already. Jesus H. Fucking Christ.

Shit.

That ruined my fucking month. I haven’t even put up some fucking Halloween decorations yet.

I’m gonna have a fucking coronary.

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Get all political…

Man, this is a good time for yelling at televisions.

Dipshit politicians thinking we actually give a flying fuck about anything they say.

You know, the only ones making out like bandits are television stations (and I suppose the occasional print publication) milking the election season for all its worth. Christmas in October/November?

The worst part is the complete stupidity of these politicians, or whoever writes the pap that they spout on the small screen. You look like the idiots you are.

But it will all be behind us in a few weeks.

And for that, I am thankful.

Until then, hell continues.

VPs face off

And hilarity ensues.

Of course the double take moment came when Mike Pence ejaculated, “You whipped out that Mexican thing again.”

I was like, “did he just fucking say that?”

Apparently he did.

And it goes down in the annals of great Vice President debate moments.

Go only knows we need more of that kind of wonderful.

The Alaska Airlines Bluescreen of Douchery

Out here in the wild west, Alaska Airlines is a pretty big thing.

They got good ol’ Seahawks QB Russell Wilson as CFO (Chief Football Officer… harhar!)… and an eskimo on the tail of their planes.

Of course, there’s an ad series out now (actually has been out for a while, I’ve just been trying to flush it from my memory, foggy as my memories may be), where they’re at the airport… Big blue screen set up in the loading area… and then happy travelers coming by to give little spiels about where they’d love to fly.

It’s the typical “man on the street” interview affair. At least the camera is solidly mounted (so help me god, if I see one more wiggly camera in use for “realness” I’m going fucking go insane).

I suppose the whole fucking affair is innocuous enough.

Perhaps I’m too sensitive.

But the whole thing is so hackneyed and, well, fucking stupid. Especially the dumb-ass hipster who wants to go to fucking Finland or somewhere.

Where?

Who the fuck cares. She fucking snorts and sighs after she says it.

Like she’s gonna eat fucking lutefisk or something for fucking eternity.

Dumbshit.

No.

Perhaps its the mother who wants to go see fucking monkeys somewhere.

I can’t even recall and I just saw this.

What the fucking fuck.

I mean, either this shit is actually real, and she’s got issues, or some writer somewhere found a really good way to fuck with me.

Jesus. Fucking monkeys?

That’s some fucking twisted shit, man.