Man, you gotta hand it to the Hallmark Network.
It’s fucking 2017, and there’s still some Christmas Shit floating over the cablewaves.
“Love Always, Santa.” “My Christmas Love.”
Crap like this always involves widowers, jilted lovers, single moms and dads, and the occasional abused pet.
Fuck, what a dream job — writing scripts for this swill.
It’s fucking October Duracell.
A fucking Christmas commercial? On fucking Sunday, October 23, 2016?
Are you fucking high? I don’t care if there’s some fucking charity thinly veiled in the goddam thing. Fuck the fucking fuck off.
Fuck this shit.
Make Xmas 365 already. Jesus H. Fucking Christ.
That ruined my fucking month. I haven’t even put up some fucking Halloween decorations yet.
I’m gonna have a fucking coronary.
Hey Hyundai, it’s fucking January 15th, 2016.
I was sick of that idiotic “Holly Days” commercial the first time I saw it sometime in fucking November, (or was it October?).
You know the one: A bunch of dumbass beardy hipster assholes riding around town in a Hyundai, happily singing along with some shitty Christmas jingle (maybe it’s real song, who knows, but it sucks nonetheless). They look jolly. Deciduous trees in the background fully leaved (probably shot in July). Some white beardo holding a sprig of mistletoe over some his presumed female partner, and giving her a peck.
They are happy in their Hyundai. You should buy one. Now. And be happy too.
Fuck that shit. And fuck Hyundai for continuing to run this swill well into January.
Oh, and fuck that inane song.
It’s fucking November 3rd and I just got assaulted with “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” while kids got fat under a fucking dining room table and then there was a tag line about fucking Christmas Gifts. I still have goddam Halloween shit up.