I need a 4,500,000K television.
It’s the only solution.
This garbage 4k nonsense simply won’t work. How the hell am I supposed to watch Cops reruns on something like that?
I want my television to be dumb.
Smart TVs make me nervous. Are they smarter than me? Will they take over my life? Read all my books? Hack my computers? Make me sad? Make me dinner?
Has it come to this… talking to inanimate objects?
Yeah, yeah, microphones and invisible friends and all that… but have you noticed how they make hunting for shit on the television and Apple TV and all those dingle dongles incredibly difficult? I mean seriously, hunting and pecking with a craptastic remote that some schlub who seemingly never has done massive hunting on a remote device before. It’s hell.
Blippity bloppity as you go letter by letter, praying that some auto-fill feature will save you from having to enter the whole goddam title…
So now there’s that microphone. You talk into the remote.
Shit magically appears.
I think it’s one more data mining bullshit dongle invading our collective minds. Sure, call me all Mr. Conspiracy Theory or whatever… that doesn’t change the truth.
Needless to say, I’m a fucking luddite and still hunt and peck. With a goddam smile on my face.
And get off my lawn while yer at it…