The enduring beard

You know, that Chevy beard guy is still in action.

In those rare moments when I actually pay attention to the drone of commercials on the television, occasionally I’ll catch a glimpse of him.

He’s still toting a clipboard, and holding those cute little market testing things with “real people” standing around seemingly interested in whatever car or truck is on the podium for the day.

“Ooohs” and “Aaahs” flow like wine, and the smugness envelops us all.

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On the floor, or something

What the fuck is with this weird “trend” of having people lie against a wall like they’re in bed?

You see it in commercials all the time.

Weird herky-jerky animation bullshit going on in the background… fucking more of the dumb-ass hipster infiltration. There’s got to be a beard somewhere on screen.

The suits are sure to be gloating “Look! It’s modern, and will lure the young, gullible and spendy!”

Fucktards. I see that shit and it inspires lame-ass television blog entries like this.

So there!

The Alaska Airlines Bluescreen of Douchery

Out here in the wild west, Alaska Airlines is a pretty big thing.

They got good ol’ Seahawks QB Russell Wilson¬†as CFO (Chief Football Officer… harhar!)… and an eskimo on the tail of their planes.

Of course, there’s an ad series out now (actually has been out for a while, I’ve just been trying to flush it from my memory, foggy as my memories may be), where they’re at the airport… Big blue screen set up in the loading area… and then happy travelers coming by to give little spiels about where they’d love to fly.

It’s the typical “man on the street” interview affair. At least the camera is solidly mounted (so help me god, if I see one more wiggly camera in use for “realness” I’m going fucking go insane).

I suppose the whole fucking affair is innocuous enough.

Perhaps I’m too sensitive.

But the whole thing is so hackneyed and, well, fucking stupid. Especially the dumb-ass hipster who wants to go to fucking Finland or somewhere.

Where?

Who the fuck cares. She fucking snorts and sighs after she says it.

Like she’s gonna eat fucking lutefisk or something for fucking eternity.

Dumbshit.

No.

Perhaps its the mother who wants to go see fucking monkeys somewhere.

I can’t even recall and I just saw this.

What the fucking fuck.

I mean, either this shit is actually real, and she’s got issues, or some writer somewhere found a really good way to fuck with me.

Jesus. Fucking monkeys?

That’s some fucking twisted shit, man.

Get all jangly…

It’s over halfway through the year of our lord 2016, and jangly hipster man bun beard music is still a thing.

I suppose it’s wishful thinking that at some point, it will all disappear, and music that doesn’t grate on me will rule the airwaves over the TeeVee universe.

It still must sell. People must demand it.

Or some clown in an office somewhere thinks “this is what people want.”

State Farm has been running an ad with aforementioned jangly hipster music. And it bothers me. Deeply. The song is actually vaguely catchy, but it’s also kind of stupid, and is all happy and shit.

Fuck Happy.

Well, in this case anyway. It’s fucking insurance. I pay a fucking premium, then get fucked over when I actually need to fix something.

Fuck insurance.

Crooks.

But I digress…

After some digging, it appears the tune in question is by some band called Vows, and is called “We Belong Together.” Or so says iSpot.tv