Bad tunes

I’m not sure why anyone would think it’s a good idea to have people who can’t sing sing in commercials…

Oh yeah, dipshit dumbass commercial people probably think, “fuck bro, this shit is gold! Fucking idiots in TeeVeeLand can ‘RELATE!'”

Um, no. We don’t.

At least I don’t.

I think it’s some shitty Subaru ad where clowns who can’t sing belt out “Put A Little Love In Your Heart.”

Sorry, it’s like listening to cats in fucking heat.

Gets me to mute that shit pretty damn quick.

Also sprach Dairy Queen

I’m pretty sure Richard Strauss did not fathom the remote possibility that his tone poem Also sprach Zarathustra would end up as the soundtrack to some vomity ice cream affair trotted out by Dairy Queen.

It’s time for the Royal Blizzard! With an incredibly irritating commercial, to boot!

Yes, yet another dip-shit “ad person” thought it would be a fucking incredibly great idea to have dumb-ass people sing (off-key) “WHAAAAAAAAT??” to the tune of Also sprach Zarathustra.

TeeVee channel is immediately changed as soon as this piece of steaming crap comes on.

Fuck you Dairy Queen.

Get all jangly…

It’s over halfway through the year of our lord 2016, and jangly hipster man bun beard music is still a thing.

I suppose it’s wishful thinking that at some point, it will all disappear, and music that doesn’t grate on me will rule the airwaves over the TeeVee universe.

It still must sell. People must demand it.

Or some clown in an office somewhere thinks “this is what people want.”

State Farm has been running an ad with aforementioned jangly hipster music. And it bothers me. Deeply. The song is actually vaguely catchy, but it’s also kind of stupid, and is all happy and shit.

Fuck Happy.

Well, in this case anyway. It’s fucking insurance. I pay a fucking premium, then get fucked over when I actually need to fix something.

Fuck insurance.

Crooks.

But I digress…

After some digging, it appears the tune in question is by some band called Vows, and is called “We Belong Together.” Or so says iSpot.tv

 

 

 

It’s January

Hey Hyundai, it’s fucking January 15th, 2016.

I was sick of that idiotic “Holly Days” commercial the first time I saw it sometime in fucking November, (or was it October?).

You know the one: A bunch of dumbass beardy hipster assholes riding around town in a Hyundai, happily singing along with some shitty Christmas jingle (maybe it’s real song, who knows, but it sucks nonetheless). They look jolly. Deciduous trees in the background fully leaved (probably shot in July). Some white beardo holding a sprig of mistletoe over some his presumed female partner, and giving her a peck.

They are happy in their Hyundai. You should buy one. Now. And be happy too.

Fuck that shit. And fuck Hyundai for continuing to run this swill well into January.

Oh, and fuck that inane song.

That Corona commercial

I finally looked up what the hell that jangly kind-of-reggae song is playing the back of that damn Corona beer commercial. You know, hipstery people lounging on the beach quaffing shitty beer you gotta squeeze citrus into the nozzle…

Anyway, it appears to be something called “Ray of Light,” crooned by a Sharon van Etten.

Never heard of either of them. I googled it, listened to it, and thought, “hmmm starts out okay, then gets terminal quick.”

No wonder Corona only uses a snippet.