The man in the orange oven mitts

Look for him.

On the sidelines of NFL football games. He gets the call from the suits, and walks on the field with his mitted hands crossed, and that’s it. Time for a commercial. They must obey.

Nowadays, everyone is weeping about how craptastic and shitty the NFL has become… I won’t wade too far into that particular can of worms… hell, the NFL has always been shitty. Especially with the commercials aspect.

Good fucking god, how many commercials can one jam into a fucking game? Of course the high water mark is the Super Bowl, but every day is like Sunday, and fucking ads are everywhere. It wouldn’t be so bad if commercials on American television were as inventive and entertaining as, say, Japan… but I digress.

The NFL mitt man…

So, the last two minutes of the game generally 45 hours.

Yeah, I exaggerate. Sort of. Fucking seems like it. And the NFL sits there and scratches their head wondering why people aren’t watching as much. Aside from garbage games, maybe people can’t stomach more commercials than game anymore. Of course they’ll never get a clue.

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Fox Football Robot

Ok, 2016 NFL Football is upon us like a moist towelette.

I’m finally getting around to watching a game on Fox Sports, and lo! & behold! There’s that fucking dip-shit crap with the glowing eyes.

Fox Sports still has that dumb-ass robot football player thing that walks all over the screen. Trying to look all cool and shit.

Looks like a fucking pile of idiotic garbage.

What in the name of fuck is that shit? I’ve been watching it for years. What are we, 9? Is this supposed to be “cool?” This is shit that you put on fucking onesies for fucking babies. Goddam.

It’s fucking immature and stupid. Jesus fucking Christ, get rid of that shit already, people and grow the fuck up.